Since I was 18 (I’m 34 now) I’ve wanted a Prince Albert piercing. Unfortunately, that deep desire has always been outweighed by my even deeper desire to avoid Dick pain. As a result it’s been about 16 years of intermittent curiosity and research and deliberation and ultimately chickening out.

A few months ago, I started exploring cum denial as I made the realization that such a practice would be beneficial (and maybe eventually integral) to my explorations of Penile spirituality, which I’ll probably write more about at a later date. Through a bit of networking, I found myself in two Telegram groups: one a Phallic spiritualist group, and the other a cum denial group, both of which gave me access to a myriad of documents and manifestos on their respective subject matter.

One of those documents, The Seven Breeds of Cock, from the Total Cock Worship blog, grabbed me in a way that I hadn’t expected. The document, aimed at facilitating deeper man-Penis spiritual understanding, names and describes the characteristics of 7 distinct Penis archetypes: Nourisher, Builder, Warrior, Empath, Teacher, Visionary, and Mandate.

I read through the first 4 types, eventually arriving at the entry for Teacher Cock, wholly unprepared for what I’d be reading. The author, PhilAndrew, seemed to know about my anxieties, my over-intellectualization of sex, my past fixation on circumcision, my fear of disconnection, my unmet desires for deeper anal stimulation, and most importantly for the purposes of this story, that I really wanted a Prince Albert. Reading this entry made me feel seen, understood, empathized with, and CALLED THE FUCK OUT for my inaction and willingness to forego self-actualization and spiritual connection in favor of fear.

So I did what I had to do: booked a date to be pierced, asked a friend to be my moral support, and told a handful of other friends so I couldn’t back out without raising an eyebrow or two. Luckily, I spend the summer months off of work (coincidentally my day job is as a teacher), so I’m provided with the perfect window to rest up and heal without having to balance any professional obligations.

So piercing day (June 5, 2025) rolls around. I had been mentally reserving my right to chicken out if things didn’t feel right or if any legitimate concerns made it reasonable for me to abort the mission, but as soon as I woke up yesterday, all thoughts of cancelling left my mind. I felt resolved and resigned to what I would be doing that day. I meditated a bit, confirmed meet-up times with my friend (an absolute badass who did me the honor of taking the photos you see in this post), watched several YouTube videos about aftercare and healing, and ultimately made my way to my appointment.

As for the process, it was oddly very quick. Before I laid back, I asked the piercer if he recommended me watching or looking away. He suggested I look away, so I’ll just describe the sensations. The first was the guiding tube, a hollow tube that he placed into my urethra so that the needle can go through without stabbing my insides. That was an odd sensation but not too bad. Next, he told me to take a deep breath in and to let it out hard. As I breathed out, I felt the needle rip through what would be my frenulum, and it felt like it took some doing. It was a pretty intense stinging feeling that was soon replaced with another pretty intense stinging feeling as the jewelry was put in place. I was pierced at a 10g and the hole was filled with an 8g ring, which means it was immediately stretched one size wider to make sure the hole was filled tightly enough. I hear some piercers use topical anesthetic. Mine did not.

And that was basically it. I looked down at my Penis and there was a much bigger than expected slab of metal hanging off of it. It looked incredible and made me feel really proud of myself, and although it’s presenting me with some new challenges, I’m pretty positive I’ll be happy with it in the long run. Expect more updates before too long.